Many dating services encourage you to upload
a photo. This is good for their business but it is also
ESSENTIAL for you. The vast majority of searchers will
exclude adverts without a photograph from the search so you
may never even be seen without one.
If you do use a photo, think carefully about
which pictures to use. Guys - don't use that picture
of you after a joyous amount of beer. Let her find out the
horrible truth of who you really are in her own time.
Ladies - don't use a photo of you with your ex-boyfriend
snipped out. I know you like the dress you were wearing in
that picture but trust me on this one.
Get a friend to take a photo of you on your
own. One facial and one full-length if possible. Make an
effort to look happy, relaxed and natural. Don't go to a
studio and have a model shoot as they may be assumed to be
When I had to check the adverts for my site I
was really struck with how badly they can be written. The
truth is they are generally rushed. We write them like we do
e-mails and so quality suffers. Write your advert in a word
processor first - use the spellchecker, proof read it and
when you are happy with it - post it. This also has the
advantage that you can cut-and-paste it into several sites.
Think about what you want to say. Tell the
person a little about yourself and what you are looking for
in a partner. Guys - try to say a little more about
yourself than what sports you like and do not mention sex.
Really. Ladies - just keep on writing them like you
do. You can hint at sex if you like. Really. One guy
wrote on my site that he had an unusual hobby and would tell
you about it if you replied to his advert. I loved that. It
threw in an air of mystery and a desire to contact the
person to find out more. Clever huh?
Two more quick points about writing adverts.
Be positive. Don't write things like "Just checking out the
site" or "Bored and lonely". Secondly, do not write one or
two line adverts. Frankly if you can't put in any effort
then you are either lazy or you can't really be that
interested in meeting someone and the reader will pick up on
Find out how the site orders the adverts in
the search results so that you can manipulate it to come out
at the top of the list. For example some sites list in the
order that the adverts were created or updated. If this is
the case then go in and save the advert again so that yours
jumps to the top of the search results. More people will see
your advert and will know that you are still looking to find
As with writing an advert it is important to
write a good response to other people's adverts. Use that
word processor again to create a well written piece about
yourself and then for each advert you respond to, add an
extra paragraph that relates to what the other person wrote
and show an interest in finding out more about them.
Next, don't always think that putting your
advert up is all you need to do. If everyone were to wait
for someone else to contact them then there would be no
point to it all. Browse around and if you find 5 or 6 people
you think you could connect with then JOIN the service and
send them a message. You are more likely to get a response
from someone who joined the site recently so keep checking
back, every night if you can.
Always respond to messages you receive, even
if you are not interested. Remember that it is another human
being that wrote to you and they will be checking their mail
box for the response. It can be disappointing to get a
'thanks, but no thanks' but it is less stressful than
waiting for a response that never comes.